There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
