Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
