Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
