I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My vagina is officially offended.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
