just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
