I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
