from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So much rum. So many feels.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
