the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
