Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
