her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
