the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
