Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
