it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
