So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
