I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
