WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How does it feel to date your dad?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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