Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
