Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
