Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
