You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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