it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
