I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please come you make the beer taste better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We got so high we made milksteak
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Still dying that you shit outside
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
