You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
