he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
