He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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