what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
