She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
