Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
