Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize