Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
