I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
