My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
