It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
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