some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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