Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
