Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
