So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
