OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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