her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
