So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
and she was petting her beer can
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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