apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
