U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
