First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I checked into jail on foursquare
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Your cock deserves a montage
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
