ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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