worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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