operation harelip BJ is a go
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
