can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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