I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
