I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
