This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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